Monday, April 24, 2006
My Biological Clock and Chimpanzees
With all these celebrities adopting kids all of a sudden and popping out their own kids... I started thinking about what I should do. I mean.. holy crap... even Jessica Simpson's thinking about adopting... while Brittany Spears is busy dropping her baby on its head... not to mention Angelina mistress of darkness Jolie and Ken doll with their technicolor family. I think she's gonna start dropping her kids into some giant volcano while she's traveling the world one of these days... you know as offerings to the Eco-god... or the devil. Who knows with her... She definitely is a strange one.
Anyways, as I was sitting at work one day thinking about the incessant ticking of my biological clock... (or is that my inner time bomb? I do have anger management issues.) Well, so I was thinking about kids and the idea that having one would be really nice... but seeing as how I can't even keep my plants alive... I thought maybe that wasn't such a good idea.
So what to do? Should I get a puppy? Nah, it would just leave me little turds all over the place. So I got to thinking... what about a cute little chimp??? How cool! It's almost like a real kid... i could probably train it to use the bathroom... to clean my place... to cook for me... how awesome. I could probably even communicate with it in sign language! And an added plus would be that I wouldn't have to stress about having to put away money for college for when it got older.
Well... stories like this one and the one about the guy from Bako getting his privates ripped off kinda put a damper on my plans... What a buzzkill.
Police search for killer chimps
FREETOWN, Sierra Leone (AP) -- Police hunted Monday for chimpanzees that escaped from a Sierra Leone preserve and mauled a group of local and American sightseers -- a rare attack that left one local man dead and at least four other people hospitalized.
The U.S. Embassy warned Americans against traveling to the Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary, from where the chimps escaped before the Sunday attack on a taxicab filled with Americans and others.
The Sierra Leonean driver died as the chimps ripped his body apart and the three Americans were treated at a local hospital for minor injuries, a top police official, Oliver Somasa, said.
Another Sierra Leonean man in the group had his hand amputated after the primate mauling, Somasa said. U.S. officials had no further comment. The Americans were in Sierra Leone to help construct a new embassy building, Somasa said.
Armed police were searching Monday for 27 chimpanzees, Somasa said, while four other chimps had returned on their own accord to the reserve.
Somasa said it was unclear why the chimps attacked or how the chimps were able to flee the park.
Chimpanzee attacks are unusual but not unprecedented.
Two chimps that escaped from their cages in a California sanctuary severely mauled one man last year, injuring his genitals and limbs. A bystander shot the primates before they killed their victim.
Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Anyways, as I was sitting at work one day thinking about the incessant ticking of my biological clock... (or is that my inner time bomb? I do have anger management issues.) Well, so I was thinking about kids and the idea that having one would be really nice... but seeing as how I can't even keep my plants alive... I thought maybe that wasn't such a good idea.
So what to do? Should I get a puppy? Nah, it would just leave me little turds all over the place. So I got to thinking... what about a cute little chimp??? How cool! It's almost like a real kid... i could probably train it to use the bathroom... to clean my place... to cook for me... how awesome. I could probably even communicate with it in sign language! And an added plus would be that I wouldn't have to stress about having to put away money for college for when it got older.
Well... stories like this one and the one about the guy from Bako getting his privates ripped off kinda put a damper on my plans... What a buzzkill.
Police search for killer chimps
FREETOWN, Sierra Leone (AP) -- Police hunted Monday for chimpanzees that escaped from a Sierra Leone preserve and mauled a group of local and American sightseers -- a rare attack that left one local man dead and at least four other people hospitalized.
The U.S. Embassy warned Americans against traveling to the Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary, from where the chimps escaped before the Sunday attack on a taxicab filled with Americans and others.
The Sierra Leonean driver died as the chimps ripped his body apart and the three Americans were treated at a local hospital for minor injuries, a top police official, Oliver Somasa, said.
Another Sierra Leonean man in the group had his hand amputated after the primate mauling, Somasa said. U.S. officials had no further comment. The Americans were in Sierra Leone to help construct a new embassy building, Somasa said.
Armed police were searching Monday for 27 chimpanzees, Somasa said, while four other chimps had returned on their own accord to the reserve.
Somasa said it was unclear why the chimps attacked or how the chimps were able to flee the park.
Chimpanzee attacks are unusual but not unprecedented.
Two chimps that escaped from their cages in a California sanctuary severely mauled one man last year, injuring his genitals and limbs. A bystander shot the primates before they killed their victim.
Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
# posted by ayellowgirl4u @ 10:23 AM 
